Yes fellas…this one’s just for you. With all the information out there to help us ladies understand you, I thought I would give you one back to help you understand US a little bit, especially since we are notorious for being so complicated…(giggle). The first thing I wanted to talk about was this whole myth (and yes, it’s a MYTH) about there being women out there who only want sex and nothing else.
This has to be the biggest urban legend being told to men of all times, and I’m sorry to the women who are putting these lies out there, but I gotta put you on Front Street….because now you all are messing it up for the REST of us!!
Let’s start with the different ways men and women view sex. For a man, I think it’s safe to assume that sex is a pleasurable event, that it should be done as often as possible, and with as many different women as possible. It is an animalistic need that needs to be satisfied, and many men say that this can be done with just about any woman that they are attracted to (and if it’s dark enough or they are drunk enough, it can also be done with a woman they are NOT so attracted to). They do not have to feel any form of love for the woman. In fact, married men that I’ve talked to who cheat say that the act of sex shouldn’t even be considered as cheating because they love their wives, but view the women they are having sex with as just that: women they are having sex with. PERIOD.
Women, on the other hand, view things a bit differently. We enjoy and crave sex as well, however for the most part, we tend to need to attach some sort of emotional ties to the act. In other words, when we do it, we generally need to feel a connection to the man. And no matter what ANY woman tells you, ALL women feel this way deep down, whether they admit it or not. TRUST ME (remember, I do produce estrogen). Over the years in an effort to fit more comfortably into a man’s way of viewing sex and relationships, women have begun to “alter” their take on it, to keep the men around they are really interested in, and secretly attempt to win over ALL of their affections (and not just “what lies beneath”-wink). In other words, women have begun telling men that they only want sex for a number of reasons, but here’s the top five:
1. “I have been through so much in past relationships, that now I only want sex so that I don’t have to be bothered by emotional attachments.” (This statement in itself is the biggest oxy-moron of all time because women ARE EMOTIONALLY DRIVEN! Fellas…you get my drift?)
2. “I’m an independent women and I’m too busy with my career to have a relationship, so I only want to have sex” (Okay, I have yet to meet the woman who would substitute a career for a man. Sure, there are those of us who are driven and successful, and there is nothing wrong with that, but even Oprah has Stedman. If all they really want is sex, why then do they spend the majority of their hard earned money on buying clothes, getting their hair, nails, eyebrows, and bikini waxes, and then hitting the streets to be noticed? Is it all just to catch a glimpse of themselves in a mirror and admire how fine they look? No, it’s because they hope to find a man to call their own, not just to sex him. She will say that initially, but it is NOT what she actually means)
3. “I’m a just freak and a nympho and have a sex drive like a man” (As a woman who does have a high drive, I can vouch for part of this statement. Yes, some women dohave excessively high drives, however this does NOT discount the fact that women still just crave that ONE special guy to be “free” with. They tell men this to give the impression of being a free-spirit and to draw them in, but in actuality, they are hoping that the punany will keep them there for a deeper commitment.)
4. “I just want a ‘maintenance man’ because that’s all I require to be happy” (Now if you are man who believes THIS line, I might need to sit you down for a minute. I’m sure most women like the idea of this, and there have been books written about it to glam up this concept as well, but guess what happens after all the good sex? Yep, you guessed it, eventually that woman will sit her tool belt-toting guy down and ask him that four word question that makes most men run for cover: “Where is this going?”)
5. “I don’t want to bring another man around my kids, so all I want from a man is sex” (First of all, while there are some women who genuinely don’t want men around their children in order to protect them from men they are not familiar with, this is NOT because they only want sex. What this translates into is, they want to and probably will have sex with you, but at the SAME TIME they are sizing you up, seeing if you are good parent/husband material, and THEN they will say, “I’m comfortable enough for you to meet the kids” which is translation for “I like you a lot now and I think you will hang around so now it’s time to ask you that four question sentence of….”Where is this going?”)
Again…ladies, I’m sorry to have to put you out there, but when you start getting in the way of the rest of us finding a good guy, desperate times call for desperate measures. And besides, why keep perpetrating this lie? It doesn’t get any of you what you want, because all you do is call your girlfriends afterwards and tell them how bad you feel about yourself that you are having a purely sexual relationship with a man when you KNOW that’s not all you really want. So fellas, I know it’s hard when a beautiful woman is claiming all she wants is sex, but be careful, read between the lines, think with THE OTHER head, and you should be straight!