Sir Mix-a-Lot and Spongebob…Seriously?

I consider myself to be a completely liberal minded woman.   As a writer, I’m a staunch supporter of the freedom of expression in any form and encourage it regularly in my two teen-aged children.  Not much leaves me speechless as I’ve seen and heard a lot in my almost 40 years of living, however something I saw on television the other day stopped me cold in my tracks made me holler out “what the hell?” out loud before I could stop myself.  Sir Mix a Lot, a well-known rapper most famous for his song “Baby Got Back” (that yes, my girlfriends and I used to dance to in the 80’s…I can’t front about that) has joined forces with Nickelodeon and Burger King to produce a commercial to promote Spongebob Squarepants happy meals for kids. 

Okay…just saying Sir Mix a Lot, Spongebob, and kids in the same sentence, in the words of Katt Williams, “don’t even sound attractive!”

If you haven’t seen it, the commercial has several female dancers with square objects in their pants to portray a “square butt” and they dance around in “Luke Dancer-esque” form while encouraging children to buy the Spongebob Happy Meals.  The commercial ends with a cameo of Sir Mix a Lot himself sitting on a couch with two “honies” and he gives the profound statement of:  “Booty is Booty”.

Okay….

Like I said, I’m probably on the extreme end of the liberal fence, but even this is a bit much for me.  Thankfully my children are teenagers and I don’t have to worry about them seeing this mess, but if they were still “happy meal age” I wonder what they would have thought about it?  Should the same influence that is glorified in rap videos with scantly-clad women dancers be shown to our little ones?  I mean, sure, this is hardly a world-changing event that will warp the minds of children around the world, but what does it say about the state of our society when this type of advertising is deemed acceptable?  A spokesperson for Burger said this ad was “targeted towards adults”.  Really?  Well, I know the economy is a mess and happy meals are a lot cheaper than the average value meal, so on that tip, I can’t help but agree that if grown folks are suddenly opting for the kids meal out of necessity, I ain’t mad.  But I hardly think that children were on the mind of the BK executives who orchestrated this mess…it was targeted directly at children, and therein lies the problem.

As a mother to both a boy and girl, I spent their entire formative years teaching them to respect themselves.  I’ve taught my son to respect women and to cherish them for who they are and not just their body parts (of course he’s a teenager now, so it’s kinda hard for him to just appreciate a girls mind at this point, but I’m hoping as he matures, it will go well beyond that…lol).  I’ve also taught my daughter that a woman’s worth is not based on her bust and butt size, but by her intelligence, strength, and compassion and contribution to her community.   Now imagine that my 16 and 17 year old were still 6 and 7 and they saw this commercial.  Do you think it would be giving them the same message I was trying to teach?  I’m not one of those parents who thinks that t.v. raises children because I don’t.  PARENTS raise children, or at least they should be making a conscious effort to do so.  But I also believe that the media and advertising giants have a responsibility as well to produce appropriate material for our children.  And in my opinion, this Spongebob commercial didn’t make the cut.

Is there anything that is considered inappropriate for our kids anymore?  Or are our little ones considered more as “mini adults” than children these days?

Maybe I’m just too old school….

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“I’m a train wreck in the morning…I’m a bitch in the afternoon…”-Beyonce

Sometimes it’s hard, but a very necessary part of advancing as a person is to look honestly at ourselves and confront our flaws.  We all have them, we know about them, but they usually remain that “elephant in the room” that no one wants to discuss.  Most times it’s so easy for us to remind OTHERS about their flaws, but much more difficult to see our own.  I have embarked on my own journey of self-discovery in a effort to try and live my best life and be the best person that I can be.  I am bravely going through my “Closet of Confusion” and sorting out my flaws and trying to get it together.

Here are some of the things occupying my closet space:

1.  My habit of over-analyzing everything

2. My unhealthy obsession with shopping (“But it was on sale” are my famous last words…)

3. My inability to tell people NO, even when I really don’t want to do things

4. My lack of strength to walk away from things that I should have left ages ago, be it people or situations.

5. My lack of motivation to exercise!!!

The closet was a bit cluttered, so I figured I’d better only start out with the top five!  LOL  Check back with me in a few and see how I’m doing.

This may take a while…….

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“Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone…”-Joni Mitchell

I’ve always wondered what makes us take things for granted.  It seems that when we are able to receive the objects of our desires, whether it be that coveted job, that car, that man, or whatever else, we soon forget all the yearnings we had within our hearts BEFORE it came to be and quickly take on the belief that it will always be around.  Think of something that you really wanted and then were blessed enough to receive.  Initially, you were probably filled with a great sense of joy and excitement, making sure to remind yourself how lucky you were to get it, giving attention to it every day, maybe even waking up in the middle of the night just to check and see if it was still there!  Whatever it was, be it a person or an object,  you made an effort to show how thankful you were to have it and it gave you a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction to finally have in your possession.

But then something happened….life kept going, and along with it came the everyday challenges and obstacles that we all face.  Your time and attention turned to putting out fires, paying bills, working, and maintaining your existence, and that coveted prize that you received was put on the back burner.  Sure, it may have still brought you joy, but you had other things that needed more of your focus.  Slowly but surely, the object of your desire that you once longed for so deeply began to seem less and less important, until finally it was all but forgotten.  If it was an object without emotion, it would likely be easier to be left aside, but if it was a person with feelings, this undoubtedly led to a confrontation of sorts and the hurting of feelings and crushing of hearts.

I was involved with a man some years ago who was incredible.  He was brilliant, kind, sexy, hard-working…the brotha had it going on.  He was into me and I was into him it was a beautiful thing.  That is, until he began to think that I would always be around.  He knew that I cared deeply for him and often jokingly said “I know you aren’t going anywhere”.  I made the mistake of not taking that seriously and soon his behavior began to show that he was indeed serious about that statement.  He went from being attentive and kind to being short, unreliable and at times, down right rude.  Needless to say, I gracefully exited from the relationship and went on about living my life.  About a year or so later, he contacted me and gave me a heartfelt apology.  He told me of the women he had met over the past year and claimed none could compare to me and the kindness and care I had shown him.  He said that he had taken my interest in him for granted and asked in earnest if I would consider being with him again.

Aw….it was sweet, but just too little too late.  The feelings that he gave me after taking me for granted kinda left a sour taste in my mouth and I was in no rush to go back to that state of mind again.  I politely declined his offer and continued along my way, but the situation made me think about my own actions with others.  I had been guilty of taking people for granted as well, but it took having it done to ME to make me sit up and really take notice.  If it didn’t feel good to me, I wondered how I must have made others feel as well.

I now try to live my life being grateful for everything that comes along, the good and the bad, because I firmly believe everything and everyone comes into our lives for a specific reason.   And when I catch myself taking my blessings for granted,  I remind myself of that Joni Mitchell song and try to appreciate it while it’s here, and not wait until it’s passed me by.

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“I’m scared of lonely, and I’m scared of being the only shadow on the wall..”-Beyonce

The idea of living life alone is not exactly promoted in our society.  There is a great deal of emphasis placed on everyone  finding their life-mate so that they can go through the journey of their existence with a loving companion by their side.  With so much money invested in all the match-making sites and the millions of people who use them, it would be safe to say that at the back of every single person’s mind is the desire to find their other half and to be as far away as possible from the reality of being lonely.

As an almost 40 year old woman, I find that I have become a leper of sorts because of my single status.  I actually get polite nods of pity and sympathy when I answer “no” to the question of if I am married.  I was at a party once and was having a great time socializing until I realized that when we sat down to dinner, I was one of the few people in the room who wasn’t paired up (of course my matchmaker friend seated me next to one of the other few single guys there, but his dragon breath made it virtually impossible to carry on a decent conversation!).  I had never been self conscious of my single status and often attended dinners, movies, and concerts alone because I never thought I needed to wait for a guy to do the things I enjoyed, but lately I have begun to really wonder about this lonely stuff.  I had always assumed that I would eventually marry again, and never entertained any other thoughts, but as time goes by, I’m forced to consider the fact that maybe I will just be forever single.  And honestly…that does scare me. 

Realizing that I am a bit afraid of being alone has been quite an epiphany of sorts.  I had always prided myself in being very happy with myself and my life, even if it didn’t include a significant other.  This is not to say that I don’t want one (heck yeah I do!), but I’ve always been okay with flying solo instead of being with a man “just because”.  I know several people who are in loveless marriages or relationships and stay for the simple fact that for them, it beats being alone.  I always said I didn’t want to go out like that.  I never wanted to be with someone who I didn’t truly love with all of my heart and whose presence in my life didn’t give me a continued sense of joy.  So I never settled, and while this gives me a great personal sense of pride having “stuck to my guns”, the reality is that it has left me in the state that most are desperately trying to avoid.

Being alone.

And no matter how happy, secure, and out-going I may be, I’ve come to face the painful fact that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone.  I don’t always want to go places by myself.  And I do want someone by my side to share my journey with…

I’m scared of lonely….

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Facebook…Am I the only one wondering when a status message is just…TMI??

Okay, so I found Facebook via my 16 year old daughter, actually.  She has been “Facebooking”, “MySpacing”, and “Twittering” forever and since she is a teenager, I figured I could never have a page on one these sites because…let’s just face it.  I’m OLD.  But after she told me Facebook would be a good way for me to find friends from high school and college, I said, what the heck.  I’ll give it a try.  And low and behold…she was right!  I reconnected with people I hadn’t seen in over 20 years!  It was wonderful seeing how they had all grown along with the pictures of the additions to their families.  It was like an online Homecoming game or something!  It was great!  I was even able to make some networking connections with other people in the literary field and…even picked up a couple of handsome admirers! =)

But just when things were going along smoothly…I began to notice something that was…um…a bit disturbing.  Facebook allows you to change your status by letting everyone know what you’re doing at that time.  Some of the status messages I’ve seen have been hilarious, some informative, and some touching and heartfelt.  There have been others, however, that are just downright….TMI!  Forgive me, but if you are having an emotional breakdown, if you hate your ex-husband or boyfriend, or if you’ve just gone to the TOILET (okay, so maybe I haven’t really seen that one..but I know it’s coming!), PLEASE don’t tell us all of that!!  I’ve come to realize that some people are living their lives through Facebook, which is fine, but just a bit hard for me to understand (and also making me wish I had been the brainchild behind this social networking site!).  This has made me wonder….are these status messages just uncomfortable professions of TMI, or do we as humans have an innate need to involve the world at large into our every action and movement?  Does this somehow make us feel more secure and connected to the world by sharing our every move?  Take Twitter for instance.  This site actually has people FOLLOWING your every thought (isn’t that STALKING??), but everyone from celebrities to the Average Joe is doing it.  And with the growing popularity of these sites, what does this say about our seemingly lack of desire to have a face to face connection with each other anymore? 

I am from the old school.  I do love social sites, however I still prefer getting out and meeting people the old fashioned way.  Seeing the actual person and talking to them, instead of just passing notes back and forth (guess this is why I would never be a successful internet dater! lol).  And as for the status messages on Facebook, as talkative as I am, I’m sure I have been guilty of giving up TMI myself, but I promise all my friends on that site that if I have, I will do better in the future.  But before I do, just let me get this one last TMI Facebook Status Message out of my system:

“Jeanette Coats Espinoza is hoping to become a best selling author, to marry a wonderful man and honeymoon on some tropical island, and then live bi-coastal in Atlanta and Los Angeles, and then travel across the country on book tours to sign books for adoring fans, and then (this would have NEVER fit on Facebook!) after graduating with her masters in psychology to continue on to earn her Phd, and then go shopping on Rodeo drive and buy tons of fabulous clothes and shoes, and then travel to Paris and Italy, and then after ALL of that, rest for a few days and then do it all again.”

Whew!  So glad I got that out of my system……(giggle)

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My Intro

Hello Everybody…I was previously a member of this site and have decided to come back and continue the wonderful world of blogging.  I have actually been both educated and entertained by reading other people’s blogs and I hope that mine will offer the same to anyone who reads them.  Of course, I don’t proclaim to be an expert in anything (accept being confused about most things in life, men in particular…lol), but I think just sharing experiences is a good way for all of us to feel more connected and to know that the stuff we are going through is probably the same stuff someone else is going through too!  A little about me…I’m a divorced mother of two wonderful teenagers and I live in Georgia.  I am an aspiring author and have completed two novels, one of which is currently being reviewed for possible literary representation (keeping my fingers crossed!!!).  I will post excerpts from my novel and hopefully I will get some feedback (good or bad..don’t worry, I’m thick-skinned!) from my future readers!  I must warn you that my mind is extremely diverse so you never know WHAT you may read on this blog, but just sit back, relax, and enjoy the rollercoaster ride that is my life!!! =)

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